Like Weeds

I have very few friends who are transsexual.  Last night one of those friends came over for dinner.  I haven't seen her for nearly four months.

We end up talking about our jobs and lives.  She marveled that despite being trans, how normal my life was.  She thought I should write a book to show transwomen are just like everyone else.

Thought of my webcamming and porn experience raced through my head.  I just responded, "yeah, I'm probably not the best spokesperson."

She thought I was just having a low self-esteem moment (to be fair she doesn't know me all that well - I'm majorly self-confident).  She pressed, pointing out details of my life which are exemplary.  Finally I confessed to her the details of the past 12 months of my life.  That in addition to my day job I've risen to be one of the top TS webcam models and that I was slowly dipping my toes into the world of porn.

Her jaw dropped.

I braced myself for the usual barrage of "harming the community"; "sexualization of transsexuals"; "do you think so little of yourself".

Her eyes bulged. then she exclaimed, "You're like the woman on Weeds!"

It continually surprises me how many people are fascinated by the duality of my life.  I hear it from fans and from friends.  I have one foot in the world of Corporate America and another foot in the world of Adult Entertainment.  Connected to both, but belonging to neither.  It seems exotic to people.

Maybe it's because I've spent much of my life living outside of the ordinary; of never fitting in perfectly with the world around me.  Maybe it's because I care so little of what others think about me.  Maybe I'm just oblivious.  
To me it's just my life.  Nothing special.

I looked back at her.  "Yeah, maybe.  I guess so," I agreed with her.

Although inside, secretly, I knew better.

I'm more like Sydney in Alias. ;)